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The hospitality gene

The hospitality gene

By: Robert St. John - November 4, 2024

  • Robert St. John says real hospitality goes beyond filling a glass or delivering a meal. It’s about anticipating a guest’s needs before they do.

Last night I was sitting at the long dinner table in our Tuscan villa. Fourteen of my American guests from all across the South were enthusiastically engaged between courses. I found myself doing something I often do—pushing my chair back from the table and leaning back to take it all in. The room had reached that warm, familiar hum, a kind of enthusiastic, conversational roar. It’s not just voices; it’s a sound you can feel, an energy. People laughing, leaning in, and truly connecting. These are the moments that make me pause, feel grateful for my family, my team back home, these people, and for everyone else who trusts me with their time and their travel plans.

Ultimately, it’s hospitality.

I’ve always been drawn to turning people on to things, making them feel welcome, comfortable, or well-fed. In my primary career, it happens around the tables in our restaurants. Hosting tours in Europe might feel a little different, but it comes from the same place. The university degree hanging on my wall states a bachelor’s degree in “Hospitality Management.” I used to think I went to school to just be in “the restaurant business.” For years, I only saw it as working with food. Turns out, it was always bigger than that.

I’ve always been in the hospitality business.

Twenty years ago, over the course of a couple of years, and on three separate occasions, I took a spiritual gifts test. Each time at a different church, and every time the result was the same: my primary spiritual gift is the gift of hospitality. At first, I didn’t give it much thought, but eventually it started to make sense. It’s about connection, and whether I’m in a Mississippi restaurant dining room or on an outside terrace dining under the Tuscan sky, the goal is the same—making people feel welcome, like they belong, and giving them an experience to remember.

At New South Restaurant Group, our mission statement states, “We give our guests exceptional experiences through fanatical, wall-to-wall hospitality.” It’s more than just a PR slogan; it’s what we live by. Every single day, my team and I work to make those words real, through our core values of hospitality, quality, consistency, cleanliness, and community. It’s not just an axiom; it’s a way of life. Those values aren’t just words on paper—they’re who we are. I do my best to treat my work over here with the exact same mission and values.

Real hospitality goes beyond filling a glass or delivering a meal. It’s about anticipating a guest’s needs before they do, and it’s about making everyone feel like they’re part of the place from the moment they walk in. That’s the culture we aim for, one meal, one conversation at a time. We’re not just building a business; we’re building connections, and that requires a mindset. It’s something I try to nurture in every person who works alongside me.

And it’s the same approach I take when hosting tours in Europe. When I bring a group to Tuscany or some other European country or region, it’s not just a trip; it’s an invitation to share a place I love—a place full of good food, beautiful views, storied history, and rich traditions. Every trip is an opportunity to give people a memorable, engaging, and meaningful experience they’ll carry with them for a lifetime. That is a responsibility I don’t take lightly. My job is to make sure they feel at ease, engaged, and welcomed— wanting for nothing— so they leave feeling as if they haven’t just traveled but truly experienced something memorable.

Hospitality, to me, is about making people know they are cared for. When it’s genuine, I’ve learned that people realize it, remember it, and return. They bring family and friends and tell stories of their experience. True hospitality builds connections that go far beyond one meal or trip. It’s not about the transaction—it’s about the relationship.

Maya Angelou once said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” She was highlighting the fact that the true value of our interactions lies—not in technical or factual details, but—in the warmth, respect, and sincerity we convey to others. Again, it’s hospitality. I use that quote often when teaching my teams about hospitality.

There’s a deep satisfaction in knowing you’ve helped people make memories that mean something to them. Whether it’s a family celebrating in one of our restaurants or a group sharing stories in a Tuscan trattoria, those are the moments that make my work fulfilling. Hospitality, for me, isn’t just a job; it’s my duty, and a way to bring people together and remind them of the good in life. It’s about creating spaces where people feel seen, heard, and appreciated.

Sitting at that table tonight, listening to that lively hum, I felt deeply grateful. Not everyone gets to do work that feels so connected to who they are, and I don’t take it for granted. I think back to those spiritual gift’s tests, and it all makes sense. Hospitality isn’t just what I do—it’s a part of who I am and a part of everything I hope to pass on. Every day, I’m reminded of the One who placed this gift in me, and I aim to honor it, never forgetting from Whom it came.

Here’s to these gatherings, and future ones, the shared meals, the laughter, and the conversations that make life feel full. Here’s to hospitality—the kind that is fanatical, wall-to-wall, and genuine. It’s in the dining rooms of my restaurants, on the tables on my tours, and in the hands of every team member who joins me on this journey. Here’s to making people feel welcome, valued, and loved wherever they are, and for all the blessings that come with it.

Onward.


This Week’s Recipe: Aglio Olio

This is as simple as it gets— garlic, olive oil, and pasta. Always mince garlic from fresh cloves and use it immediately. Never purchase pre-minced garlic in a jar.

Ingredients

½ lb. Angel hair pasta
½ gallon Water
2 Tbl Kosher salt
1 cup Extra virgin olive oil
¼ cup Garlic, minced
¼ tsp Crushed red pepper
Grated Parmigianino Reggiano as needed.

Instructions

Cook angel hair pasta according to directions on the package.

In a large skillet over very low heat, warm the oil and garlic being very careful not to burn or discolor the garlic. Allow the oil and garlic to infuse for 10-15 minutes. Again, be very careful not to burn or even brown the garlic. Simply remove the skillet from the heat if you feel it is too hot and allow to cool slightly for 3-4 minutes before returning to the heat. Fold in the crushed red pepper and the hot angel hair pasta, combining thoroughly. Add a little of the pasta water.

Divide among 4-8 serving bowls and finish each with grated cheese as desired.

About the Author(s)
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Robert St. John

Robert St. John is a chef, restaurateur, author, enthusiastic traveler and world-class eater. He has spent four decades in the restaurant business, thirty-three of those as the owner of the Crescent City Grill, Mahogany Bar, Branch, Tabella, Ed’s Burger Joint, The Midtowner, and El Rayo Tex-Mex in Hattiesburg, as well as Highball Lanes, The Pearl, The Capri, and Enzo Osteria in the Jackson area. Robert has written eleven books including An Italian Palate, written in Europe while traveling through 72 cities in 17 countries in six months with his wife and two children. Robert has written his syndicated newspaper column for twenty years. Read more about Robert at robertstjohn.com.
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