It’s no surprise that men in America are in a state of crisis. While those crises aren’t only in one age group, they are certainly concentrated among young men.
Redeveloping a healthy appreciation for the differences between the sexes and rebuilding male-female relations is deeply important to our continued progress as a people. Failing to do so has broad repercussions in both personal and professional settings.
In recent years, the term “masculinity” has become a pejorative. And unfortunately, the term “toxic masculinity” has become a synonym for the former. But the two terms should be divorced. That’s not to say that some men don’t engage in toxic behavior. Violence (sexual and otherwise), misogyny, mistreatment, and supporting those behaviors can be classified as toxic.
But behavior that exudes strength, leadership, protection and similar traits is not toxic. Masculinity is not toxic. It’s important to make these distinctions clear. The God-given physical and mental differences that separate males and females are not negatives. When they are treated as such, it is detrimental to individual relationships and society as a whole.
The growth of feminism and its accompanying sexual revolution did much to destroy the male to female dynamic. Voting, property and workplace rights, and equal pay for women are some positive outcomes. But the push to level the playing field completely (an impossible task) — to erase natural differences — resulted in a conspicuous overcorrection. And men are currently caught in the aftermath.
In a recent Pew Research study on “How Americans See Men and Masculinity,” 43% of respondents said they have a positive view of masculine men. While 31% had neither positive nor negative views, a total of 25% held strictly negative views.
If a solid 1/4 of Americans view just masculine men in a negative light, we have a serious problem.
Why? Because the trend toward negativity is only going to grow in our internet-obsessed culture. Social contagion is real. The attitudes that push a negative view of men are largely found online. And in many ways, we live in a modern world that seems rather female-centric. Overcompensating for past wrongs that viewed women as second-class citizens has only pushed men to a place of underachievement, and in some ways, failure.
According to this well-sourced piece at The Stanford Review, the current disparities between males and females are vast and varied:
“With its class of 2028, Harvard has maintained a female majority for a seventh year. An astonishing seven out of ten high school valedictorians are girls. In the next five years, for every man who graduates college, we can expect two female graduates. This educational disparity isn’t just an academic curiosity—it’s a harbinger of profound social and economic shifts.
The classroom is only one place in which this disparity can be observed. Young men today are three times more likely to overdose, four times more likely to commit suicide, and a staggering 14 times more likely to be incarcerated than their female peers. 98% of all mass shooters are male. Violence, addiction, and self-harm all represent a desperate cry for help from a generation of struggling young men.”
I recently asked my husband how he thinks he’d feel if he were a young man in today’s world. His response? “I’d feel bereft of purpose.” And why wouldn’t he? Why would any young man in today’s climate feel hopeful about the present and future? When 25% of those polled have a negative view of just masculinity, not toxic masculinity, the deck is stacked against males, young and old, simply for existing.
The gendered tension that grew out of feminism has given rise to a confusion unlike never before. At the center of the conflict? Men. Masculinity. The kind of traditions and inherent behaviors that should be encouraged, not maligned.
For those who want to punish men as a whole, the decline is welcome. But for those of us who wish for a future where young men and young women are similarly supported, is it concerning. A healthy society is one where men and women complement one another. It is one where positive versions of both masculinity and femininity are allowed to thrive. As it stands now, some of the loudest voices in mainstream society promote “the future is female” to knowingly alienate boys and men. A radically unbalanced view of the sexes does not make up for the wrongs of decades past.
The data doesn’t lie. Young men are in a state of despair. If these trends continue, it will damage both the present and future for men and women alike. And astonishingly, those who propagate the misandry will wonder how we got there in the first place.
Kimberly Ross
