- Nothing will affect the changes necessary for young people to thrive quite like responsible, God-fearing parents.
I have noticed numerous articles lately discussing studies on why young men are increasingly vulnerable to frustration, anxiety, and depression.
Personally, I am very impressed with many of the young guys that I have had the opportunity to engage with recently, but, alas, there is a problem that exists, too. Warren Farrell, in The Boy Crisis, writes that it “is not about boys failing to become men; it’s about our failure to guide them.” Six fault lines that contribute to the problem:
Our culture is sick. And that lack of health corrupts everything it touches. In this case, masculinity seems to be increasingly neutered, as can be seen in the blurring of differences between the two genders. Transgenderism, homosexuality and men competing in women’s sports only adds to the confusion. Standard masculine virtues like strength, fortitude, and toughness have been mocked and derided in popular culture. The bungling, foolhardy sitcom dad and husband have become normalized.
Fatherlessness. Well over half of Mississippi kids are born into a fatherless family. Children (and especially boys) without a firm man at the helm who is also married to their mother, are far more at risk for several social ills – including depression, anxiety, mental illness, lack of education, crime, and incarceration. Give a boy a strong, responsible, loving father, and most social problems significantly decrease.
Lack of work. It seems fewer boys today are expected to work, particularly when it comes to manual labor. I was fortunate to have grown up in a culture that just expected it. Before I ever got to college, I had held a paper route, worked as a janitor, changed tires in an automotive shop, clerked in a shoe store, stocked shelves at the local grocery, and labored on a farm. Work of this nature, which pushes an adolescent to produce value by the sweat of his brow, is both therapeutic and develops character in a way few other experiences can. Taking orders, getting yelled at, adapting to constructive criticism, showing up on time, receiving a paycheck, and both spending and saving from that remuneration – all build personal fortitude that is not easily undermined. The diminishing expectation of work means boys increasingly don’t have to take responsibility, aren’t developing habits to serve as the foundation for a future career, and thus struggle with identity and self-worth, which leads to personality disorder.
Social media. Social media is…dangerous. And it has largely taken today’s youth captive. It is designed to be addictive, produces anxiety and loneliness (lack of real relationships), lowers academic performance, and has created a mental health crisis among young people. “The more time kids spend on social media,” says social psychologist Jonathan Haidt, “the worse their mental health is. The timing is so consistent across nations, genders, and platforms—it’s no longer really in doubt.”
When it comes to the ubiquitous screens in our children’s lives, the issue of porn must be addressed. Barna (2022) reports that 70% of teen boys struggle with pornography, which is easily attainable via the computers and phones of our children, desensitizes them to responsible sexuality, gives unrealistic expectations about relationships, and generally erodes self-worth and spiritual vitality.
Ministry. In our church, we have referred to ministry in the community as “running to the sound of the pain.” That is, there are hurting people out there – so, let’s get to them and try to help in the name of Jesus. Hopefully, this outreach will positively impact our town, county, and state. But even more importantly, it transforms us. It underscores individual agency: somehow, by a miracle of grace, the Lord can use us to make a difference. We are not, as Coleridge once said, “As idle as a painted ship / Upon a painted ocean.” What we do matters, and youth need to know that fortunes can shift and directions can change because of their involvement. Their lives have significance to those around them. Involving them in serious regular ministry opportunities only makes sense.
Jesus. There is no question that life’s greatest folly is trying to fill a God-shaped hole in one’s heart with something or someone other than Jesus. He is what we need most of all, and trying to address a problem using the wrong answer produces the greatest anxiety of all in life’s ultimate dilemma.
Culture is badly in need of reformation. Schools and churches play a huge role in the lives of our youth. But nothing will affect the changes necessary for young people to thrive quite like responsible, God-fearing parents. And little gets fixed through them until things get fixed in them. “Train up a child in the way he should go—but be sure you go that way yourself.” (Spurgeon)
