- People who have been hurt are the best as helping people who are hurting.
Ever hitchhiked? Recommendation – don’t. But here’s my story.
Trying to get to California for a friend’s wedding and too poor from graduate school to purchase a plane ticket, I found myself on I-70 in Russell, Kansas, with my thumb out to the oncoming traffic. I was wearing khakis, an Izod, and a smile….and carrying a Bible. Three days later, I was in San Jose.
So many stories to tell from those 72 hours or so. But let me limit myself to this one. For some dumb reason, I decided to venture off the interstate and take a short cut. For the most part, interstate highways ARE the short-cut, but it was hot and I must have been delirious. A sign said Salt Lake City this-a-way; since I had to go through Salt Lake City, I fell for it.
At that point my trip was slowed significantly.
Eventually, after hours stranded on a two-laner headed west, I was picked up by a couple of guys my age. They could tell I was a rookie, and they informed me that they both had hitchhiked around the world. Would I like some advice? Well, would I ever!
They shared their helpful perspectives and then decided to turn their tutelage into a pre-test quiz. “What would you do,” they asked, “if you got stuck in a small town and needed help?” Being a seminary student at the time, I replied, “I guess I would go to a local church and tell them my tale of woe.” They laughed, and then laughed some more, and continued to laugh until they heard an irritated “Well, what would you do?” from me.
They advised me to do one specific thing “only if you want help 100 percent of the time.” I was all ears. “Well,” they explained, “go to a bar, order a beer, look at the person to the left or the right, and tell them your problem. And – voila! – you will get your help.”
Then they added a bonus question: “Who has been picking you up since Midwest Kansas?” I admitted ignorance. “Former hitchhikers—that’s who picks up hitchhikers.”
Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst Carl Jung popularized the concept of the “wounded healer.” He was inspired by the Greek myth associated with Chiron, who was a healer of others but could not heal himself from the wound caused by a poisoned arrow. His suffering submission to it led him to miraculous further healing.
Jung wasn’t by any means a Christian, but he was also inspired by the suffering Christ in passages like Isaiah 53:3-5:
He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief…he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows…he was pierced for our transgressions; he was crushed for our iniquities; upon him was the chastisement that brought us peace, and with his wounds we are healed.
Christian author Henri Nouwen grabbed hold of these concepts and wrote his best-selling The Wounded Healer, which made the case that suffering, weakness, and struggles may well make one a greater vessel of healing once the affliction is embraced and utilized as a vehicle of understanding and redemption.
What my hitchhiking friends were telling me was this: the guy at the bar probably has seen more than his fair share of struggles and thus will most likely be willing to help you in yours. Further, those who know by experience how it feels to stand out on a road with hundreds, even thousands, of cars whizzing past are the ones most apt to stop and help.
It is at the point of our greatest wounds, our greatest struggles, our greatest sin that Jesus, having redemptively restored us, will often use us to help others in similar predicaments. Setbacks should not be a deterrent to successful ministry. Remarkably, they can become an avenue of help and hope extended to others. This is why programs like Celebrate Recovery are so profoundly impactful in churches across the world. People who have been hurt are the best as helping people who are hurting.
That is why I have great hope that God can use me. And you.
