Sometime in 2019, the holographic Philadelphia Inquirer that beams directly onto the tabletop in your breakfast nook will feature a story about Joe Paterno’s frozen head coaching Penn State football from a cryogenics lab in Phoenix.
“We’re taking Obama A&M very seriously,” JoePa’s head will be quoted as saying. “As I was telling Ted Williams’ head just a few minutes ago, the Fightin’ Presidentes cannot be taken lightly.”
Meanwhile, the press and the Ultranet message boards and MSBs (mainstream bloggers) will be abuzz with speculation about whether Paterno’s head will retire at the end of the 2020 season and who might succeed him if he does.
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This not-so-futuristic picture snapped into immediate focus Tuesday night, as news of Paterno’s three-year contract extension hit. At 81, Paterno has more job security than Andy Reid, Charlie Manuel and, well, everybody else in the worst U.S. economy most of us younger than JoePa care to remember.
The question that springs immediately to mind is this: What in the heck does this mean?
The answer that springs immediately to mind is this: Joe Paterno is going to coach Penn State football for as long as he lives, if not longer.
Boston Herald
12/17/08
