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‘Breck Girl’ John Edwards...

‘Breck Girl’ John Edwards to come bask in our collective poverty

By: Magnolia Tribune - July 13, 2007

Well, the “Breck Girl”, John Edwards, is at it again.

Now, he’s coming to Mississippi to show everyone how bad we really are. Normally, he’d be coming to get donations from wealthy trial lawyers on his private jet. This time, he will retrace RFKs footsteps and come from the lower 9th ward in New Orleans and come through Canton and Marks, Mississippi (which the national press is fawning all over themselves to mention is where MLK came in ’68). From there it will be on up the Mississippi river through Arkansas and Tennessee to the lower region of Kentucky.

His campaign, desperate to shrug the image of private jets, 28,000 square mansions and $400 haircuts, is trying to evoke imagery of RFK. And, of course, as every good liberal knows, there is no better whipping horse than good ‘ole Missippi’.

But, in truth, imagery is all this is about. Remember Edwards’ buddy John Kerry and the pre-election goose hunt? John Kerry went out and bought some camo and a goose stamp, and was seen wistfully hauling a skycarp (hunter’s code for goose) out of the field with a bunch of good ole boys. But then, when pressed, his handlers couldn’t decide whether he actually shot the goose, which would have horrified the PETA-kook fringe of the liberal base or if he was just along for the ride, which made him look even more like the goof he really is.

Maybe Edwards will go get his $500 shoes shined on Main Street in Canton. Maybe he’ll eat chittlins in Marks. Either way, you can bet that this trip will do nothing for him, but it will further cement in the nations minds that Mississippi is inhabited by a bunch of poverty-stricken, racist, homophobe, barefoot, toothless, uneducated yahoos that are just looking for a pretty looking multi-millionaire savior with a $400 haircut to carry us to the big house.

Thanks, John Edwards. Thanks-a-yahoo.

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Magnolia Tribune

This article was produced by Magnolia Tribune staff.