We interrupt this coverage for a special report.
Chris McDaniel continues his political sabbatical from the Hortman Harlow law firm to swing wildly – this time at statewide officials. On Friday, he came out against Delbert Hosemann claiming that he was intentionally confusing local clerks on election law and is now claiming 8,300 “questionable” votes. But what is a “questionable vote”?
Y’allPolitics scored an exclusive interview with one of the Freedom Fighters at the vanguard of the 82 County Bigfoot/Voter Fraud Scavenger Hunt and Jubilee. His/her identity is being protected for obvious reasons. Here’s an excerpt.
YP – What is all of this questioning of the election about?
Subject – The word ‘question’ is in article 1 of the Constitution 3 times. It’s our constitutional right to question.
YP – They were talking about the Congress in Article 1, but OK. What’s the criteria for a questionable vote?
Subject – Well, there are several things we’ve been trained to look for. First, did they vote in the Democratic primary. We’ve only found a handful of those. We’re also looking for people with hyphenated last names. That’s a dead giveaway to voter fraud. If they don’t know what their last name is, how can we? Also, any foreigner sounding last name, that’s pretty questionable. People with foreign sounding last names don’t vote for Republicans.
YP – OK. What else?
Subject – We are also looking for suspicious marks. For instance, if someone marks an affidavit ballot in a red or green pen, that’s questionable. Red and green ink are for Christmas cards, not voting. That’s an automatic questionable vote.
YP – Very good. Thanks for your time. Happy hunting.
YP DISCLOSURE – This subject was paid for his/her interview. They were given 11 confederate replica coins, a Dale Earnhart collector’s edition plate and a “Don’t Tread on My Old Lady” trucker hat.
It’s so crazy that the press are actually having press conferences. Of course, in this case, I’m using that word loosely. Chuck Johnson and Rick Shaftan had a presser in front of a non-descript ad agency in the DC area complete with a Tea Party flag in the background and 6 random people who wandered by. And really, what better way to communicate credibility than for a member of the media to carry his own Tea Party flag to an interview?
You remember Johnson and Shaftan, don’t you? They’re the ones who “interviewed” Rev. Stevie Fielder. He’s of course Fielder has since recanted finally realizing to admitting to vote buying is a one way ticket to the pokey. Not even $2500 before the interview and $2500 after would be worth that. But in the presser, Johnson and Shaftan have a new wingnut news standard – There’s “no proof that this theory is true but there’s no proof it’s not true”. That’s refreshing. At the 16:00 mark, Shaftan proclaimed, “If Dinesh D’Souza belongs in prison, these people belong in prison.”
Picking up on the new media standard of “there’s no proof it’s not true”, our local wingnut news crew has finally gotten on the scene. When tinfoil hats are being passed around, they come wearing tin foil Stetsons. They’re parroting Johnson and Shaftan’s conspiracy theories. Then, they rolled up on a respected South Jackson church looking for black helicopters (or “helicopters of color” as they like to put it). We’re told their next investigative report involves dumpster diving on Ellis Avenue.
Where’s Stephen Colbert when you need him?
Folks, you can’t make this stuff up. Next week will be a big week. Stay tuned. I think a Charle Sheen-like selfie web-video is just right around the corner.
That’s the way it was – Days 18 & 19 of the McDaniel Hostage Crisis.
Good day Mississippi – and good luck.
Magnolia Tribune
