Brotherly love

• Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor. – Romans 12:10

Young siblings are inclined to elbow and nudge each other and to complain about each other. If we are honest, sometimes our idea of “brotherly affection” in the church is marked more by that kind of thinking and conduct than it is by love and gratitude. When we look around at one another, instead of singing that we’re glad we’re part of the family of God,” we can often think deep down, “I’m surprised you’re part of the family of God.”

Paul calls us to a better way.

In this verse, love is described using family words. Philostorgoi, translated here as “love,” comes from the Greek word storge, which refers to the devoted love of parent for child. Philadelphia, translated here as “with brotherly affection,” is the word used for the love between siblings (as in the name of the city of Philadelphia, the “City of Brotherly Love”). Back in Romans 8, Paul has already reminded his readers that they’re together as members of one family by God’s grace (Romans 8:12-17). Now, because they have each been brought into the family on the same basis—namely, in Jesus—they have every reason to be devoted to one another.

This kind of love requires not only genuine affection but also humility. The NIV translates the second sentence in this verse as “Honor one another above yourselves.” This resembles what we see in Philippians 2, where Paul writes, “In humility count others more significant than yourselves” (Philippians 2:3). Scripture calls us to put others first. We are to learn to play second fiddle without complaining or perversely seeking to be commended for doing so. The only competitive element among a church family should be that of seeing who can raise up and do good to others the most.

Thinking of this kind of loving brotherly affection brings us back to Jesus, who loves to call us His brothers and sisters (Hebrews 2:11-15). For Jesus, “though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant” (Philippians 2:6-7). It is Jesus who shows what true brotherly affection is; it is Jesus who loves His family perfectly in this way, outdoing all others in showing honor; it is Jesus whom we are called to be like, and whom we are living like each time we choose to love with Christlike brotherly affection. Today, then, love like Him.